Wednesday, October 6, 2010
More of you, Lord!
I must make a confession: I am fidgety. I am not satisfied. I have a strong yearning in my heart to see what I haven't seen before, do what I haven't done before- go far beyond the places in God that I have been to.
I've been born again since December of 1990. I've been preaching since Easter weekend of 1998 (I say Easter, not to glorify the word, but to give a timeline that people can understand). I've seen many things:
I've seen healing, on many occasions.
I've seen demons cast out of folks.
I've seen folks born again.
I've seen lack and I've seen plenty.
I've seen God repeatedly open doors and make ways where there seemed to be no way.
We've been loved and maligned, hurt and healed, thrown down and lifted up, praised on hated, yet, through it all, Jesus has been faithful!
When I first came to the Lord, it was because I was hungry for more than the dry religion I had been raised in could ever offer me. Something had to give. Something had to change. And change me he did!
Now, I have a yearning inside of me, not an emptiness like before, but a drawing to a deeper place than I've ever been. Greater submission. Greater prayer. Greater study. Greater relationship with Jesus, out of which will grow greater ministry to effect change in the spiritual lives of many that we meet.
I LONG to be about my Father's business! I yearn to grow to that place where he CAN open those doors. Right now, I feel like the child looking through the candy store window- I can see the good things on the inside of the store, but the window and the lack of currency in my pocket prevent me from having it.
Yesterday's blessings were great, but they are gone with the winds. Great memories, but nothing I can eat right now- this instant. Yesterday's words and directions were great, but what now?
Oh, Lord, open my eyes, let me see through your eyes! Teach me the ways I need to know! Equip me for your service! Open the door and let me feast with you and lead others to your table! I'm weary of just having the uniform, Lord. Please, place me on the playing field! I will fight the good fight! I will stand for your righteousness and speak your words without fear or favor!
In Ezekial 47, you speak of waters to the ankles, the knees, the loins, and to swim in. I'm grateful for each level, Lord. I'm thankful for the initial salvational waters to the ankles, that changed the direction of my life and the way that I walked. I'm grateful for the waters to my knees that taught me how to pray and seek your face. I love the waters to my loins that help me be of sound mind and in self control of my base human desires. But Lord, I want more!
I long to swim in your holy waters! I yearn to be moved by the current waters of your Holy Spirit inside of me! A place where you direct everything! A place where my feet cannot touch the bottom and my hands cannot touch the sides. A place where YOU are in complete control!
Please, Lord, Let me go swimming! I long to be in the place with you that we read of the early Apostles being in, where thousands are born again, cities are changed, multitudes are healed, the fear of the Lord reigns, and the peaceable fruit of righteousness reigned amongst your people. Lord, take us there!
We are your people and you are our God! Take us all there and beyond, for your word says that the glory of the latter house shall be greater than the glory of the former. Please, Lord. We are not worthy, in and of ourselves to be a part of your promised revival. But you make us worthy through your blood and spirit. Help us to love you above all, love others as ourselves, and love not our lives- even unto death.
In Jesus name! AMEN!