What I deserve!

Dear Lord, 

                  I've been born again now for nearly 29 years and called to preach for 22 years. In that time, I've had many ups and downs. But, overall, I feel I've served you well. I've held firm to the truths of Acts 2:38, holiness, and the oneness of God. I've reached out to others with truth and love. I've withstood and stood against false teachings. On top of this, I've worked very hard to try and care for my family as you've instructed me. 

               So, Lord, I don't understand. Why have you allowed me to suddenly be jobless? Why am I sending out resumes for jobs I could do and not even getting a nibble? Why am I not even able to get unemployment, when everyone else is gaining extra unemployment at this time? Why have you allowed me and my wife to be afflicted with the health issues we have? 

              I deserve better than this, don't I? Is this how I'm to be rewarded for all my hard work, sacrifices, prayer, study, fasting, tolerating all the crazy people I've had to deal with? 

              I feel I deserve at least an answer, don't I? 

                                        In Jesus name, your servant,

                                                                                    Mike

Ever find yourself praying like this?

This is a true representation of my current situation. So, I do need your prayers. 

It is not, however, a true representation of my prayers. 

Everything I do, or will ever do, is done "as unto the Lord." It is a form of praising my Lord for all he has done for me and my family. When I was working, it was a labor of love to try and support the family he's blessed me with. When I study now, it's to learn more about God and his ways. When I pray, yes I give him my needs, but it's because I know who the supplier is! 

But, I thank God, that though I do not like my current circumstances, I still have what we need. I thank God that we have clothes on our backs, food in our bellies, vehicles to take us where we need to go, and a place to rest our heads. 

More than this, though, I thank God I don't get what I deserve! 

Because what I deserve is hellfire! 

What I deserve is for God to turn away from me and never look back! To, let me be kicked out of my home, lose my vehicle, and have no way to feed my family. I don't even deserve my family! 

The very fact that I am alive, breathing, in my right mind, and learning and growing in Jesus is a testament to HIS grace and mercy! 

I've done NOTHING to deserve calvary! I've done nothing to deserve his spirit within me! I've done nothing to deserve his mercy or his grace!

Every good action I've ever done is not a testament to me or my righteousness. Rather, it's a testament to Jesus working in and through me. It's all about HIS blood, HIS truth, HIS spirit, and never about me!

God help me to stay humble and not to revel in the ways you've allowed me to stand. Help me to point my entire being directed at you and never to be tempted to believe that I deserve even ONE thing from you or life because of what YOU gave me the strength to do or stand for. 

So, I don't know where our next meal is coming from, but he does. I don't know where my next dollar is coming from, but he does. I don't know what his next job for me to do is, but he does. I don't know what tomorrow holds for us, but he has it all under control. 

Thank you Jesus for your love, your mercy, and your grace. Thank you for your blood your spirit, and your name! Thank you that you know right where we are and that you hold tomorrow and it's challenges and provisions. 

Thank you for NOT giving me what I deserve.

And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever. -Revelations 5:13